


Spider-Man's Curse

by Blueberry_Dance



Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: A tiny amount of angst, Crack, Gen, probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-18 07:56:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21940807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blueberry_Dance/pseuds/Blueberry_Dance
Summary: Peter Parker has a bad time with field trips.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Field Trips
Kudos: 28





	Spider-Man's Curse

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sylveondreams](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sylveondreams/gifts).



The first time Peter Parker ever went on a field trip was in Kindergarten. It was to a puppet show, and that went well. It was a nice retelling of some fairy tales. Then he went to lunch. That went well as well. He had a sandwich, an apple, and a juice box. By the time he got to the activity, he was feeling pretty good. Naturally, this meant that everything had to go wrong. Another student wanted the scissors. Peter Parker did not want to give up the scissors. So the other student solved the problem like the mature Kindergartener that he was. He bit Peter Parker.

Peter Parker's second field trip was also in Kindergarten. They were going to an aquarium. It was very nice, and Peter Parker especially loved the tropical fish. This time, everything that went wrong was when the class was walking on a catwalk during the behind the scenes tour. A fish (Peter Parker never tried to figure out which kind) leaped impossibly high and bit Peter Parker.

The next time Peter Parker went on a field trip was during 1st Grade. They were going to the Botanical Gardens. Peter Parker loved the Botanical Gardens. He was very fond of flowers. The ticks living in the Botanical Gardens loved Peter Parker. The school nurse had to remove five ticks. Peter Parker's Aunt May had to remove ten more ticks. Peter Parker began to wonder what it was about field trips that made people and animals want to bite him.

Peter Parker did not go to any more field trips in 1st Grade because of his asthma (and his somewhat worrying record of getting bitten on field trips). While in the classroom of whatever teacher had volunteered to not go on a field trip, he met Ned Leeds. The two of them fell in instant nerd-love. (Most importantly, Ned Leeds DID NOT BITE PETER PARKER.)

In 2nd Grade, Peter Parker went to a farm on a field trip. He saw plenty of chickens, and fed them some seeds. He then saw a goat. Like the nice child he was, Peter Parker went over to feed the goat a carrot. The goat sniffed the carrot. Then the goat sniffed Peter Parker. Then the goat sniffed the carrot again. Then the goat sniffed Peter Parker again. Finally, the goat made up it's mind. It bit Peter Parker. Ned Leeds, having heard about Peter Parker's previous mishaps, told Peter Parker to accept that he was cursed. (Peter Parker did not accept it. Not yet.)

Peter Parker did not believe that there was anything that could bite him at the Science Museum. The class had a lovely time looking at the paleontology exhibit. Peter Parker stuck his hand in a dinosaur mouth. The supports for the upper skull gave out just then. Ned Leeds told Peter Parker that he was probably the first human to be bitten by a dinosaur. (When it was investigated, the failure was found to have been purely mechanical, with no sign of tampering. Peter Parker's school was still uninvited from the museum. Peter Parker was still uninvited from any further 2nd Grade field trips.)

In 3rd Grade, Peter Parker went back to the Botanical Gardens. Peter Parker still liked the flowers. This time, Peter Parker used bug spray. His class was taken to the greenhouse. Peter Parker touched a Venus flytrap. The Venus flytrap bit Peter Parker. Peter Parker would admit that he totally deserved that one.

When his 3rd Grade teachers took him to the zoo, Peter Parker was expressly warned not to touch anything or try to feed any animals. Peter Parker did not touch anything (including the very cute armadillo that the zookeepers showed off) or try to feed any animals (including the giraffes with their long tongues that Peter Parker thought were very cool). It was not Peter Parker's fault that the snake escaped and bit him. (At least it wasn't venomous.) Ned Leeds asked Peter Parker if he now accepted that he was cursed. (Peter Parker did.)

Peter Parker abstained from any further elementary school field trips.

In 6th Grade, Peter Parker went on an overnight field trip to rural New York to see if his curse had faded. He never even made it to his assigned cabin. (No one saw where the mountain lion had come from. (This one was bad. The worst Peter Parker had ever had. He was lucky he was only bitten once.))

Peter Parker decided not to go on any more middle school field trips either.

In 9th Grade, Peter Parker decided to check again to see if his curse had faded. (He was going to Oscorp, a biotech company. This time there would be no mountain lions. At worst, some weird insect would escape and bite Peter Parker.) It was fascinating and Peter Parker loved every second of it. So naturally something had to bite Peter Parker. (Peter Parker was wrong. It was not a weird insect that escaped and bit Peter Parker. It was a weird arachnid.)

In 10th Grade, Peter Parker decided to go on a field trip to a play. Surely his danger sense would allow him to avoid getting bitten. (It did not.) Ned Leeds was impressed that Peter Parker had somehow managed to avoid most of the geese. (His danger sense had helped somewhat. Only one goose had actually managed to bite Peter Parker. (Peter Parker really hoped that that goose had gotten dusted as well.))

At the end of 10th Grade, Peter Parker decided to try and find out if dying had ended his curse and went on a field trip to Europe. (Turns out, his curse had ended. Peter Parker was not bitten once. (But the field trip had hurt in other ways. Peter Parker would have preferred getting bitten.))

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by that one episode of Ultimate Spider-Man, when he recounts the various animals that have bitten him on field trips.


End file.
